Children, Youth Ministry, and Spiritual Leadership

It is not the youth ministry, nor fun,

nor their relationship with the church,

or their relationship with their friends

that will keep your children faithful,

it is their relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

 


After living in our town for 35 years it is not uncommon for me to run across someone whom I have not seen in a number of years.  In our conversations we usually talk about our children and where we are going to church.  Almost invariably the reason given for where they are attending church is that is where their children had friends, and the friends were the reason the children wanted to go to that particular church, or that particular church's youth ministry had more activities for their kids.

Now before you start howling and throwing rocks, let me say that I believe youth ministry is important, very important. However, think through this with me, and lets look at what is really going on here. If you asked every one of the parents I talked with, they would tell you that they are the spiritual leaders in their home. But are they, really? When you make the decision, to go to a certain church because that's where your children's friends are, or because that's where they can make friends, or because if you don't go there your children will be upset, have you really made the decision. No, your children have made the decision for you, and you have acquiesced. In doing this you have abdicated your position as spiritual leader of the home, and your children have become the de facto spiritual leaders. What is disturbing is that this mindset is not the exception, it is the rule, and has been the prevailing mindset over the last 20-30 years.

One of the alarming statistics that has come out concerning the church is that over 70% of children raised in church don't set foot in the door of the church after they leave home. You might be tempted to say that this proves the importance of having your children attend church where they enjoy it, and where their friends are so that they will continue to come. The problem with that line of thought is that this statistic has come after the 20-30 years when one of the prevailing reasons why people attend certain churches are the reasons I mentioned above. So, obviously, letting your children go to church where they want to so that they won't have a bad taste in their mouths about church has not worked.

In choosing a church based on friendships or fun, what have you communicated to your children about the real importance of church...worship of God, learning the Scriptures, learning sound doctrine, becoming more Christlike, ministering to others in the body, and service to God? You haven't.

Parents, we are called to be the spiritual leaders in our homes, for our families. Spiritual leadership is not choosing a church because your children want to go there because it's fun or because their friends go there; in fact, in exercising your leadership, your children might be disappointed, even upset, because you aren't going where they want to go, but are going where they need to go. It is much like feeding your children. Do you let them eat just what they want to eat, or do you require them to eat what is good for them until they develop a taste for it (even though they throw a fit or pout), and that becomes what they desire and what they will continue to eat after they leave your home. The same principle applies to spiritual things.  Making or keeping your children happy or being worried about having to endure their displeasure is not spiritual leadership.  

It is not the youth ministry, nor fun, nor their relationship with the church, or their relationship with their friends that will keep your children faithful, it is their relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Exercise your spiritual leadership in choosing a church that is sound in the faith, teaches the Scriptures to all ages, presents the gospel, and is concerned about your children's spiritual growth and faith in Christ. Make sure that these are emphasized in their program, not fun and friends.

Hey, it's lonely at the top, and a little rough at times, too. But that is why God made parents, that is the position and role God has assigned to us. Don't let your children down, for now and for eternity; but be the spiritual leaders, be strong, be spiritually courageous, and your children will one day rise up and call you blessed.