A False Notion of Spiritual Leadership

You know how things seem to come in bunches, or as some say in threes. That has happened to me, except the bunches have occured over the last year or so. Even though there were different people involved each time, there was a common theme, a common thought process, a common notion that led to a common result; and, I'm afraid, the common result will have long term spiritual consequences for each of the families involved.

Let me recap a few of the conversations.

First, a man called me who was looking for a church for his family. He asked many questions about what we believe, what kind of preaching philosophy I had, and how we went about doing church. He then went on to explain to me that his priorities in looking for a church were a reformed soteriology, sound doctrinal teaching, and verse by verse expositional preaching. You would think that we would be right up his alley...at least up his alley enough for him to bring his family for a visit. Nope, we did not make it to first base with him. Why? We did not have a youth department for his 15 year old, so she could make some friends at church. So, was his real priorty reformed soteriology, sound doctrine, and verse by verse expostion? You tell me.

Next, a friend who goes to another church calls me and tells me that he has a young lawyer friend, fairly new to Midland, who is frustrated with his church because of the lack of in-depth teaching and had recently left another local church due to false teaching. My friend had told this young man about our church and my view of ministry and preaching, and told me that he was very anxious to meet me; so, we met over golf and finally got down to the nitty gritty conversation right as we finished. What he said about his priorities in looking for a church matched us and his concern for doctrinal purity seemed admirable; but then he showed his true colors. He went on to tell me that he was leaving his daughter in a local private school that is run by the church he left because of the false teaching. He admitted that she was probably getting some of the error in the chapel time, but did not want to take her out of the school because she had made some friends there. I told him that it would be good for his daughter and his other children to understand that right doctrine is important, and that sometimes we have to make sacrifices in following the Lord; and that this would be a good example for them, and a good teaching opportunity for him with them about the supassing value of the Lord in our life, that He is worthy of our sacrifices. By the look on his face you would have thought I asked him to sacrifice his children on the altar of Baal. He changed the conversation and ended it quickly.

Since then I have run into several men whom I have not seen in these last few years. All of them, without fail, told me that the reason they had joined the church they are currently attending is because that is where their children had friends, and the friends were the reason the children wanted to go to that particular church.

Now before you start howling and throwing rocks, let me say that I believe youth ministry is important, very important. We don't have a youth group because we only have one youth, who helps my wife with the elementary children, and this is not uncommon in start-up churches. However, think through this with me, and lets look at what is really going on here. If you asked every one of the men I talked with, they would tell you that they are the spiritual leader in their home. But are they, really? When you make the decision, to go to a certain church because that's where your children's friends are, or because that's where they can make friends, or because if you don't go there your children will be upset, have you really made the decision. No, your children have made the decision for you, and you have acquiesced. In doing this you have abdicated your postion as spiritual leader of the home, and your children have become the de facto spiritual leaders. What is disturbing is that this mindset is not the exception, it is the rule, and has been the prevailing mindset over the last 20-30 years.

One of the alarming statistics that has come out recently concerning the church is that over 70% of children raised in church don't set foot in the door of the church after they leave home. You might be tempted to say that this proves the importance of having your children attend church where they enjoy it, and where their friends are so that they will continue to come. The problem with that line of thought is that this statistic has come after the 20-30 years when one of the prevailing reasons why people attend certain churches is the reason I mentioned above. So, obviously, letting your children go to church where they want to so that they won't have a bad taste in their mouths about church has not worked.

In choosing a church based on friendships or fun, what have you communicated to your children about the real importance of church...worship of God, learning the Scriptures, learning sound doctrine, becoming more Christlike, ministering to others in the body, and service to God? You haven't.

Men, we are called to be the spiritual leaders in our homes, for our families. Spiritual leadership is not choosing a church because your children want to go there because it's fun or because their friends go there; in fact, in exercising your leadership, your children might be disappointed, even upset, because you aren't going where they want to go, but are going where they need to go. It is much like feeding your children. Do you let them eat just what they want to eat, or do you require them to eat what is good for them until they develop a taste for it (even though they throw a fit or pout), and that becomes what they desire and what they will continue to eat after they leave your home. The same principle applies to spiritual things.

Making or keeping your children happy is not spiritual leadership, and the same thing can be said regarding your wife as well. What the men above said about their priorities was not true, their priority was not sound teaching, reformed soterilogy, etc., but it was making and keeping their children happy. Whether it was altruistically the happiness of their children, or selfishly so that they would not have to endure their children's displeasure (or their wife's), I don't know; but in either case it is the wrong motive.

It is not the youth ministry, nor fun, nor their relationship with the church, or their relationship with their friends that will keep your children faithful, it is their relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Exercise your spiritual leadership in choosing a church that is sound in the faith, teaches the Scriptures to all ages, presents the gospel, and is concerned about your children's spiritual growth and faith in Christ. Make sure that these are emphasized in their program, not fun and friends.

Hey, it's lonely at the top, and a little rough at times, too. But that is why we are men, that is the position and role God has assigned to us. Don't let your children down, for now and for eternity, but act like men, be strong, be spiritually courageous, and your children will one day rise up and call you blessed.

A False Notion of Children's Ministry

This is the first part of a two part post. Really, it is the preamble to the post to follow, and they both deal with false notions. Satan is a deceiver and the father of lies and I believe he has foisted a lie into the minds of parents concerning church for their children.

Have you ever sat and listened to parents as they pick up their children from church? What do you think is the first question most parents ask? Is it. "What did you learn about the Bible today?" Is it, "What did you learn about God or about Christ today?" Are they checking to be sure their children are learning correct doctrine, or about the great men and women of faith in the Bible, or having the gospel presented to them? No, the question most often asked is....."Did you have fun?", followed by... Did you enjoy it?". For so many, their main concern is not the quality of the biblical content and teaching their children are getting, but the amount of enjoyment or entertainment they are getting. Instead of hearing from the parents about the ability of the teachers to communicate spiritual truth, the joy of the Lord, and the love of the Lord, or their care and concern for the spiritual formation and welfare of their children; you hear comments regarding how playful the teachers are or how they get down on the children's level (whatever that means).

Don't get me wrong, I don't think church should be a dour and sour place where your children are screaming not to go back, like they do when you take them to the doctor's office; but the church has bought into and is selling and the parents have bought into and are buying, the false notion that church is all about fun, games, and excitement for their children. And, honestly, many parents expect it to be the same for themselves, as well. So many churches market themselves through the children's programs knowing that if they make and keep the children happy they will keep the parents coming.

For your children the church should be a training ground, laying the foundation of spiritual truth that will give your children the wisdom that leads to salvation. It should supplement and support what you are giving them at home in preparation for a life on their own. There should be the joy and love of the Lord present. It should be enjoyable, but there still must be the goal of the bigger picture of spiritual preparation and spiritual formation. As a parent, your criteria for judging the value and quality of a church for your children, should be based upon what I have just mentioned, not upon the emotional whims of your children or which church is the most Disney-like in its facilities and programs. In fact, this concern about your children having fun communicates to them the church is all about having fun; and this is the false notion that is built into their minds so that the minute it isn't all fun and games, they lose interest.

Step back and analyze what your church is really doing to your children in and through their children's ministry. Look past the all the hoopla, facilities, and hype. Can you discern the eternal values that are intentionally being built into your children, or is the emphasis on the temporal, shallow fun of the world. What do you want them to have? Are things of eternal value what they are really receiving, or have you and your church been deceived by the schemes of Satan to be enamored with fun and entertainment so that you trade the truth for a lie.

The Will of God Part 2

Part two of Dan's post.

Pyromaniacs: <i>Non Sola Scriptura:</i> the Blackaby view of God's will — 2

The Will of God

These two posts by Dan Philips over at the Pyromaniacs blog are too good and too important not to link to.

Pyromaniacs: <i>Non Sola Scriptura:</i> the Blackaby view of God's will — 1

The God of Forgiveness

One of the things I have noticed over the last few years is the spiritual insecurity of so many Christians. One of the ways this insecurity is manifested is in the area of forgiveness. This seems to be an area of faith where many people are struggling and where a great deal of insecurity resides. Again, in a time when the thrust of most preaching and church life is "all about you" and how God loves you and accepts you for who you are, you would think that people would not be wrestling with this; but when the teaching, preaching, and small group discussion fails to address the basic foundations of our faith because they don't think doctrine is relevant to the lives of the people how would the people, the flock, have any basis from which to understand forgiveness, much less be able to know they are forgiven. When I was teaching in Dallas in the mid eighties the Minister of Education told me that I was teaching too much doctrine and that I needed to have more application lessons. My response to him was, "Bill, they can not apply what they do not know." This attitude that the ME had has only become more prevalent over the last 20 years. In addition to this, if you teach or preach on forgiveness you must deal with the sin that needs to be forgiven and most churches won't do that because it might make the people feel bad about themselves or offend them.

To get a handle on forgiveness you first must understand the nature and character of God and then understand what He has done so that we can be forgiven. So the rest of this post will be about the nature and character of God as it relates to forgiveness.

The best place to start is with Exodus 33:17-34:7. This section of Scripture relates the story of Moses asking God to show me your glory. I find God's response to this prayer/request intriguing as He tells Moses I will make all my goodness pass before you and proclaim My name, the name of the Lord before you. So we see that God's glory is inextricably linked with His goodness and His name. His goodness is His glory and His name is representative of His glory. So God reveals that He is good and in the revelation of His goodness His glory shines forth and is displayed. As God passes by Moses and reveals Himself and His goodness listen to what He says, "The Lord, The Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression, and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished..." So we see here that forgiveness comes forth from the goodness of God, and is as much a part of His goodness as His compassion, His grace, His longsuffering, His lovingkindness, and His truth. God forgives because God is good, and His forgiveness of our sins is an extension of His goodness to us. Since His glory is displayed through His goodness He is glorified in the forgiving of our sins. This alone is reason enough to fall on our knees as grateful beneficiaries of His goodness, which He has chosen not to withhold from us. Being forgiven is the result of the Lord lavishly bestowing His goodness upon us.

Psalm 130:4 states, "But there is forgiveness with You, that you may be feared." Here we see that His forgiveness is one of the pillars for our holy awe and reverence for the Lord. Understanding His forgiveness, experiencing His forgiveness, reveling in the fact that we are forgiven and that God has not dealt with us according to our sins, but according to His goodness and compassion as He is ever mindful that we are but dust, should bring forth in us an unmatched reverence and a heart that bows low in worship. God magnanimously bestows forgiveness upon His people and in the magnitude of His forgiveness He is glorified and exalted and we see His worthiness of our reverence and stand in awe of His goodness because deep in our soul we know the depth of our own sin and see that for which we have been forgiven, that which no one knows but us and God.

In Nehemiah 9:17 we see that He is a God of forgiveness and in Psalm 86:5 we see that He is good, ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness for all who call upon Him. What does this mean for us? We can see that since he is a God of forgiveness that forgiveness flows from Him to us. He does not have to be coerced into forgiving us, and it is not something that He must struggle to do or something that He begrudgingly doles out like a scrooge at Christmas. In fact, it is just the opposite as we see that He is ready to forgive, He is poised to forgive, He longs to forgive so that we can be brought into right relationship with Him and thereby enjoy sweet fellowship and communion with Him. These verses, along with I John 1:9, show us that we do not have to go to great lengths, do great penance, or go through great machinations to be forgiven, but we simply call upon Him and confess to Him our sin and it is forgiven; and we are made clean before Him, not just for that sin, but from all our unrighteousness. This, my friends, is goodness, great goodness, goodness worthy of abundant praise and worship out of a heart that has experienced gladness, true gladness, through forgiveness and cleansing.

Yes, forgiveness is ours because it flows from God to us and He is ready and waiting to forgive, not because of us, but because of His goodness. He forgives us on the basis of who He is and what He has done so that we can be forgiven. Have you asked for the forgiveness of God....so that you can come to Him and be saved, so that you can fellowship with Him, so that you can be cleansed and find rest and comfort for your soul? If not, ask Him today, confess to Him today, and in His goodness He will not refuse.

O Lord, how truly good You are, good beyond the scope of our ability to comprehend and good beyond our ability to measure. May praise and honor be heaped upon You and Your name be exalted this day because of Your goodness and forgiveness. Thank you for Your forgiveness, its availability, and its abundance. You are good and You do good. Great is the Lord and blessed be Your name. Amen.

Thought for the day

Your Christian life is not about being the best you, you can be, but about being as much like Christ as you can be.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Holiness and Love

At first glance these two Christian attributes would not seem to be closely related. In fact, one might be inclined to ask the question, "What does holiness have to do with love?" or vice versa. A proper response would be, "More than you think."

Matthew 22:34-40 gives us some insight into their connection. When asked by a lawyer which is the great commandment in the law, Jesus replied by quoting Deuteronomy 6:5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind, and called this the great and foremost commandment, as well it should be. Then He goes on to add something to it, the second greatest commandment. He said this commandment was like the first one and it was, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." which is from Leviticus 19:18, but He did not stop there. He then went on to explain why these two commandments are the two greatest in the Scriptures, because upon them depend the whole Law and the Prophets. The Greek word for depend is kremmanumi, and means to hang or suspend, much like a door hangs or is suspended by its hinge. So as a hinge supports the door and allows it to operate properly, so these two commandments support the Scriptures.

The key concept that binds these two commandments together is love, love of God and love of neighbor. We know that the Decalogue's (Ten Commandments) first four commandments deal with our attitude toward and treatment of God, and the last six deal with our attitude toward and treatment of our neighbor, but the principles put forward here also permeate and undergird the rest of the Scriptures. So, in these commandments we see the essence of loving God and loving our neighbor. Paul gives us additional insight and commentary on these verses in Romans 13:10 where he says, "therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

In talking to His disciples Christ gives us another commandment concerning love. Listen to John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another (refering to the brethren), even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. So now we have three commandments concerning our love. One is to love God with all our heart, mind, and soul, two is to love our neighbor as ourself, and three is to love one another (the brethren, fellow Christians) as Christ loved us. In these three commandments we are not only told who to love, but how to love and the extent to which we are to love. We are to love God with all of our being, with the totality of our person, with all that we are. We are to love our neighbor in the same way we love ourself; and therefore treat our neighbor the same way we would we would treat ourselves by giving him the same care and concern we would give ourselves. Finally, we are to love the brethren with the same love as Christ has loved us. We are to walk in love as Christ Jesus loved us and gave Himself up for us, as an offering and a sacrifice to God, for there is no greater love than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends.

When we are loving God, our neighbor, and each other in this manner then we are fulfilling the Law. The Law is God's standard for righteousness, His measure for holiness. Therefore, when we love as we are supposed to love, we are fulfilling the Law, we are being righteous. So then love is the key to holiness. Understanding this helps us have a more complete understanding of some of Paul's exhortations.

Romans 5:5...the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I Timothy 1:5 But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart...

I Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.

I Corinthians 14:1 Pursue love....

Ephesians 5:2 and walk in love...

Philippians 1:9 And this I pray that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment.

I Thessalonians 4:9-10 Now as to the love of the brethren.....excel still more.

II Thessalonians 1:3 We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethern, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater.

II Corinthians 4:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

And it explains this verse.

I Corinthians 13:13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

So if you want to live a holy life, you must love. If you want to grow in holiness, you must grow in love, you must love more and better, you must excel still more in love, you must pursue love, love must control you to the point that all that you do is done in love; and then all that you do will be holy...just like the Holy One who called you.

How do you love like this? Well, of course, the answer is in the Scriptures and starts with Romans 5:5. We will cover that in the next post.

Collision of Wills

I am currently preaching through Jonah and what a delightful, powerful, and convicting book. Immediately in Jonah 1:2-3 we see a collision of wills between God and Jonah and we see this highlighted in the call of God to Jonah, "Arise, go to Nineveh the great city and cry against it." and Jonah's response...He rose up................to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. Jonah was not being reluctant, he was being rebellious. His disagreement with God (Jonah 4:1-2) turned into disobedience to God, and he fled just as far in the opposite direction of Nineveh as he knew to go.

Jonah's fleeing from God was his way of avoiding God because he did not want to do what God had called him to do. God's call to Jonah exposed an area of Jonah's life that needed to be brought into submission to the Lord. The limits of his obedience were exposed. This is an object lesson for us. Why?.....There are many times when we have a collision of wills with God, and every collision of our will and His will reveals the limits of our obedience. The limits of our obedience are always being exposed and tested, just like Jonah.

In times like these when our will has collided with God, and we are wrestling with God and ourselves, there are some things we need to remember:

1. That God's will is always perfect and pure....ours is neither.

2. When our will is not lined up with God's will, it will always be selfish and self-seeking.

3. The imagined cost of obedience is always overshadowed by the real cost of disobedience.

4. Disobedience is always more costly and the consequences are more severe.

5. While obedience may cause some distress, disobedience leads to disaster.

6. Your disobedience does not happen in a vacum, but will always affect those around you, those whom you are connected to.

7. When you are being disobedient don't be beguiled by the "providential" escape provided by the circumstances.

8. Most often the means of escape our circumstances seem to supply is actually the means of God's discipline, God's chastening.

9. When we are being disobedient our paradise becomes purgatory and our pleasure becomes pain.

10. It is always better to trust the Word of God rather than to trust your own heart.