The Truth and Our Mind

 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever in honorable,

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence

and if anything worth of praise, dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8

"An old subject is thus brought before us again: the cardinal place occupied by the Christian's mind, for good as well as for ill. Just as a carnal mind is the surest passport to the downward path, so a mind drilled in the things of which God approves is the steadiest way into practical holiness. If, in a difficult relationship (1), we allow our minds and judgment to be clouded by half-truth, or if we allow frivolous and damaging thoughts about the other person (2) to simmer in our minds, we are hardly being like Christ. We should rather determine to think only the truth about the other person (2), to value what is attractive and praiseworthy about him. This will prove to be the way of peace.

We are to meditate on, to prize as valuable, and to be influenced by all that is true, all that merits serious thought and encourages serious-mindedness, all that accords with justice and moral purity, all that is fragrant and lovely, all that brings with it a good word, that speaks well, whatever has genuine worth of any sort and merits praise. It is the will of God that by giving attention to things of which he approves we should shape our minds to be like his: to those who do so, he pledges his guardian peace and his own presence as the God of peace."

Alec Motyer

The Message of Philippians

Page 212

The italics above are mine, and for #1 you could substitute situation or circumstance; and for #2 you could substitute the Lord.

Philippians 4:8 is a powerful verse.  It is one of  the verses that should be required memorization for every Christian.  It is the verse that both guards and shapes our mind. Proverbs 23:7 tells us, "As a man thinks within himself, so he is."  And how we think within ourselves should be guarded and shaped by Philippians 4:8.  

There are two things I would like for us to take note of in this verse:

First is the word dwell (think in the ESV). The Lord could have used the two most common Greek words for think, phroneo or dokeo, but He didn't. Instead He used the word logizomai. This word means more than just having an opinion or giving acknowledgment. It means to give careful consideration, to make a reasoned reflection, to be circumspect about. It implies deliberateness and seriousness. As it is used here, logizomai is also in the present tense and imperative mood, which means it is a permanent command to the point that these qualities are to be the habitual focus of our mind; and then these qualities, qualities of which God approves, will guard and shape our mind.      

Second, is the word truth. This word is the first word in this list of eight things which our minds are to be dwelling upon. The primary, most important, first and foremost thing which we are to give careful consideration to is the truth. Truth is to be the gatekeeper of our mind, and the main shaper of our thoughts. All the other qualities that we are to let our mind dwell on should always be subject to the truth. Truth is the best thing we can know, and the most reliable and powerful thing we can reflect upon.  

The most important, most reliable, and most powerful truth we can know, and therefore dwell upon is the truth about God. How we think about God and what we think about God greatly affect our life; and how we respond to all the different situations we find ourselves in is based in large part on our view of God, and our view of God is shaped by what we know about God. So knowing the truth about God is paramount.

The second most important truth we can know, is the truth about ourselves. It is against the backdrop of the truth about God and in light of the truth about God that we gain insight into the truth about ourselves, and in knowing the truth about ourselves we begin to see ourselves as God sees us. We see our life and all of its dynamics from God's viewpoint. We see our motives, our reactions, our plans, our thoughts and desires from God's vantage point, and we began to view ourselves in light of the truth that we know about God. Of course this truth was realized, brought to full view and manifested thoroughly, in Jesus Christ (John 1:17) because He is the embodiment of the truth (John 14:6).

Where can we go to find this truth? Why, of course, we go to the word of God, which is truth (John 17:17), and speaks the truth concerning every subject it touches (Psalm 119:160). The truth which should guard our mind and shape our thoughts is found in the Scriptures, and is the Scriptures themselves, as the Bible does not contain the truth, but is the truth.

Romans 12:2 tells us that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Our mind is renewed (continually made new) as we grow in knowledge of the truth. In John 8:32, Christ tells us that in knowing the truth we shall be set free. Starting with salvation, there are a myriad of applications in this verse, but the base line is that we shall be set free from the shackles of the lies of the enemy, the lies of the world, and the lies of our flesh. These are the lies we have been believing for most of our life, lies that have shaped our thoughts and governed the course of our life, lies that have made our lives miserable, lies that have separated us from God and from others, lies that our unredeemed flesh still wants to cling to.

So, it is imperative that we know the truth, and not just know the truth but continually reflect upon all that we know to be true, to give deliberate, serious, and careful consideration to what we know to be true. As we do this, our knowledge of the truth, what is true about God, ourselves, and life will grow; and as we engage our minds on the things we know to be true, our mind will be guarded from what is false...the lies of the enemy, the world, and our flesh...and our mind will be trained and shaped.

The more truth we know, the more our mind and therefore our thoughts are conformed to the truth. The more our minds are conformed to the truth the more discerning we will be regarding the lies of the enemy no matter which area of the prevailing culture they emanate from. Truth is the backdrop against which the lies of the enemy become apparent. 

Friends, let us determine today, and pray today for strength, wisdom, and discernment in the things that are true, so that our minds will be fixed upon only that which is true, so we will be people of the truth. In doing this we will be set free from the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil, and have the peace that surpasses all human comprehension.

Pastoral Counseling--Marital

In the last post about pastoral counseling I talked about identifying the core sin in the life of the person who has come in for counseling, and how important it was to identify it quickly. Again, I am certainly not holding myself out as an expert on marital counseling, but the same approach should be used in marital counseling as well. However, in most cases, when counseling about marital issues-which are really relationship issues-you will find two sins that tend to be the core sins in most instances. They are selfishness and unforgiveness, and they seem to be at the root of most of the marital/relationship issues that I have encountered.

Let's face it, we are all selfish pigs to one degree or another, or in one area or another. You have your area(s) and I have mine. We have all brought our areas of selfishness and selfish attitudes into our marriage relationships, and when selfishness exists and is not dealt with or given up, then conflicts are a natural result. Selfishness is a relationship inhibitor, and extreme selfishness is a relationship destroyer. James speaks to the origin and destructive power of selfishness in 3:13-4:3 of his epistle. What I have found during the years is that selfishness is at the root of most marital conflicts. Whenever you come across the-"I want my way!"-"I want what I want when I want it!" attitude during the counseling sessions, then understand you are staring selfishness in the face; but realize that it is also expressed in much subtler ways; and when you uncover the selfishness you may also discover that the ways that were used as a child to get what was wanted accompany the selfishness into the relationship. 

How do you deal with selfishness when you find it during the counseling sessions?

1. Identify it, and point it out. Many times the people you are counseling are so used to being selfish, they won't realize their own selfishness unless someone points it out.

2.  Call it what it is...sin, and get them to acknowledge that it is sin. Use the verses in James to show where it comes from and its destructive effects.

3.  Go to Philippians 2:3-7 to show them selfishness has no place in the life of the believer, and that we are commanded not to be selfish.

4.  Take them to I Corinthians 13:5...love does not seek its own...to show them that selfishness is an expression of a lack of love, and that love is the higher way.

5. Use II Corinthians 8:9, Romans 15:2-3, Philippians 2:3-5 to show them the attitude that Christ had, and as such it is to be our attitude.

Will following these steps automatically solve the conflict? No, because selfishness is so ingrained in us that it is hard to root out; but if the people you are counseling want to be more like Christ, want to grow in their faith, and truly want the conflict(s) resolved, this will start them down the right path.

Unforgiveness is the other sin that causes much damage in marital relationships. Who of us has not been wounded in one way or the other by words, actions, inactions, or attitudes of our spouse? Who of us has not wounded our spouse by our words, actions, inactions, or attitudes? What brings healing to these situations? Confession and forgiveness; and ultimately it is not the confession that brings the healing, but the forgiveness by the one offended, regardless of whether the offending party has confessed and apologized or not. Unforgiveness is the root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15) and just as the verse points out, it defiles many as bitterness leads to wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice (Ephesians 4:30), which are always destructive forces in a relationship.

How do you deal with unforgiveness?  Actually, this one is usually easier to spot and point out as most people know when they are being unforgiving.

1. Just as in steps one and two above, unforgivness must be identified and called for what it is...a sin.

2. Take them to Matthew 6:12-15 and Matthew 18:21-35 to show them God's view toward their unforgiveness, His command to forgive, and their personal consequences (in addition to the marital conflict) of being unforgiving.

3. Take them to Hebrews 12:15 and Ephesians 4:30-31 to show how unforgiveness not only grieves the the Holy Spirit of God, but how it will poison and defile them and others.

4. Show them in Ephesians 4:30 and Colossians 3:12-13 that we are expected to be as forgiving towards others as Christ was/is toward us.

5. Use I Peter 4:8 and I Corinthians 13:5 to show the power of love over unforgiveness, and again that love is the higher way, and since we have the immeasurable love of God already in our heart (Romans 5:5), we have God's love and therefore God's capacity to forgive.

Are there other issues surrounding and connected with selfishness and unforgiveness? Sure there are, but until you uncover and point out these two issues, you cannot begin to deal with the other issues connected with them; and dealing with these first will make unraveling the other issues easier.

Additionally, we should always watch our attitude and demeanor when counseling. Remember, we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), not in self righteousness, not in a condemning way, not to put them down, but to correct them and reprove them for the benefit of their marriage and their relationship with the Lord; and if you can't say it in love, maybe it shouldn't be said until you can. Truth is confrontational and cuts to the quick, so speaking the truth in love both wounds and heals; and when the people you are counseling know that you love them and have their best at heart, they will be much more willing to receive what you have to say. Remember, your counseling them is ultimately to further their growing up in all aspects into Him.

Pastoral Counseling--Foundational

I am not going to hold myself out as an expert in counseling here, but I do want to share a bit of wisdom gained from dealing with people, over the years, with their various problems and concerns. I don't want to call it a short-cut per se, but it does get to the heart of the matter, and the sooner you can get the heart of the matter the better it is for all concerned, and it involves three components.

First, identify the sin at the root of the issue. Remember, all issues are ultimately spiritual issues, and there is always a sin at the core of each issue. Sometimes the core sin has led to other sins, and you must cut through these sins to find the core sin, the sin that is begetting the other sins. For example, one of the most frequent of the other sins is lying, which is occurring  to cover up the core sin. Another example is that many times when someone has been sinned against, it isn't the being sinned against (slander, abuse, defrauding, swindling, etc) that is the issue; but it is the unforgiveness (toward the perpetrator or God, or both) in the victim that is the core sin. Go after finding that core sin like a heat-seeking missile, because it will be the key to bringing healing and closure to the issue.

Second, determine if the person you are counseling is willing to deal with the core sin, willing to confess it as sin, willing to renounce it and repent from it, and willing to let it go. If they are not willing to confess it as sin, and/or deal with the sin, then no amount of counseling will help them. Many people who are unwilling to deal with their sin, are what I call chronic counselees; and much like the women in II Timothy 3:7 who are always learning, but are never able to come to the knowledge of the truth, these people (men and women) are always in counseling, but are never able to achieve healing. Pornography comes to mind, in that many who are involved will admit that it is a sin, but never come to the point where they are wanting and willing to let it go. Unforgiveness is also a sin that many are not willing to confess or deal with.

Finally, many times the primary issue is a salvation issue, and we also see this many times in those who are chronic counselees. There are many who think they are a Christian, who claim to be a Christian, but are not. These people do not have the spiritual capacity to understand Biblical counseling, nor do they have the spiritual capacity to obey the Scriptures (I Corinthians 2:12-16, Romans 8:5-8), and therefore cannot apply the Scriptures to their life and situation. In counseling you need to try and determine where the person is spiritually, so do not start off assuming the person is a Christian. Even though I have listed this last, it something that should be paramount in your mind as you begin the counseling process. A good healthy dose of the gospel during the counseling process is good for all, both saved and unsaved. For the saved it is a reminder of what God and Christ have done for them and their standing before them, and for the unsaved it is the key to begin the process of healing that starts with their very own soul (Jeremiah 17:4).

There are many complicated emotional and mental issues that people are dealing with, and I am not making light of them; however, most often, we find that the issues are understood and can be resolved by determining where the people are in relation to the components I have mentioned above.